Wednesday, December 13, 2006



BEFORE THE MELTDOWN. Anyone raising a perfectionist child? Yikes! I keep trying to find ways to help her loosen up, but she is soooo afraid of making a mistake that it either traumatizes her to tears to try a project like this (making paper snowflakes) or she refuses to try (school work from time to time- in school and they have to call me because she refuses to proceed!). What is it about these children that makes them soooo hard on themselves? I have been researching and am not really finding answers, just strategies to model behavior that shows it's okay to make mistakes, that wrong turns can turn into grand adventures, that the most wonderful creations can come from things we thought were mistakes! I was one of these kids too, pressured myself to achieve, but I don't think I started this young! But I do remember when a B grade would set me off to crying for hours. And I've tried very hard to NOT model THIS behavior. I took me 3o years or so to stop sweating the small stuff! I hope I can help her do the same. Any insights would be grand!
So we only got 4 paper snowflakes made before the meltdown because the shape she cut wasn't perfect enough. But we'll try some more this afternoon, after a little snack and before she gets tired. And the tree looks better already- sorry crummy photo. Our basement flooded last year and we lost all the Christmas decorations (including the hats my children wore in the hospital because 2 were born at Christmas time so we hung them on the tree- sniffsniff) but it was just "stuff," so no biggie (now, was kind of a biggie when it happened!).

4 comments:

Holly said...

Beautiful tree Laurie!! I can't help you with your daughter and her need for perfectionism - I was slightly this way as a child but not now - I just go with the flow! lol! I am sure as a Mom this is hard to see, as well as deal with - perhaps some research on the internet?

Thad said...

well, I have an 11 year old boy who is the same way.....ocassionally! What makes it so frustrating is how random it is. I'm blaming it on hormones...

as far as the basement flooding goes....how does one's basement flood whern said person lives on top of the highest hill in town?

Laurie said...

Hahahah! Thad, it floods because we are actually one of the lower homes sitting on the highest hill in town, so all the ground water from the higher ground around us comes washing in! It's a yearly mess we have to deal with. It's just the price you pay for living in the quiet, secluded, countryside!

Amby said...

Hi! You recently commented on my mom's blog, Uncommon Artistic Endeavors. Anyway,I was wondering about your daughter, have you researched OCD or OCPD? Perfectionism is a big part of both of these. Just thought I'd suggest that. Nice to find a new blog! -Amby